Top 10 Worst Champions

With the coronation of the Modern Day Maharaja as WWE champion, a lot of people have been making claims that this is going to be one of the worst title reigns of all time. Beyond that people are considering him one of the most undeserving champions ever. If you had told me a year ago that Jinder Mahal would be WWE champion today, I would laugh in your face. Keeping that in mind, I'm willing to wait and see where this goes. Will he be one of the worst champions ever? Possibly. But I bet he won't even crack my top 10.

10) Mikey Whipwreck Wins the ECW World Heavyweight Title - This is probably the most controversial choice for this list. I mostly include him out of my own retroactive fantasy booking. In my version of ECW, Whipwreck gets in an offensive move once every several months. Similar to how he was initially booked, winning through shenanigans, always being scared of his opponent, and then, when he finally hits something, the crowd explodes. In my book, this can keep him in the tag title picture, sure, but never really entering into the world title picture.

9) Chavo Classic (Accidentally) Wins the WWE Cruiserweight Title - With all due respect to the recently passed Chavo Guerrero Sr., his title reign in 2004 was a joke. He literally won the title by accident (in kayfabe anyway). With the history his family has with the industry, this did more to tarnish his legacy for me than it did to serve as some sort of tribute or honor.

8) Hornswoggle Retires the WWE Cruiserweight Title - When the WWE purchased the WCW, a lot of WCW traditions were treated as jokes. Add to that Vince's obsession with muscle-bound monsters of men, and it is no wonder that, even with their recent resurgence, the cruiserweights have never really gotten a fair shake. The fact that he not only captured the title, but was the last holder of it until recently sums up everything you need to know about how Mr. McMahon views cruiserweights.

7) One of The Godfather's Hoes Briefly Holds the WWF Hardcore Title - That is the most Attitude Era thing I have ever written. In an era when the hardcore title was defended 24/7/365, it isn't surprising that you'll see some questionable names on the list of champions, but to my knowledge, this character never received a name, and held the title for literally 15 seconds.

6) Eric Bischoff Captures the WCW Hardcore Title - When Eric Bischoff captured the hardcore title, it was nothing more than a move to stroke the man's ego. This same sentence could be said for everything he did as an on-screen character.

5) Vince Russo Wins the WCW World Heavyweight Title - See entry 6, then multiply it by 100.

4) Vince McMahon Has Held Both the WWF World Heavyweight Title and the ECW World Title - I went back and forth several times on the order of Russo and McMahon. While McMahon, definitely played a stronger character, he also held two major titles, not just one. While the reboot of ECW was doomed from the start, having Vince hold the title certainly didn't help anything.

3) Eric Young Becomes One Half of the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions - EY has had some terrible gimmicks in his time with TNA. From portraying Super Eric to competing in bikini contests, he was given garbage on many occasions, but he always did his best to turn it into gold. When he was partnered up with ODB, I bought in. Whatever, it was a fun pairing right? When they were given the Knockout Tag Titles, I took issue with it. One thing TNA had always done better than WWE was their women's division. This reign was a major step  back for both the division, and for Eric Young.

2) David Arquette Wins the WCW World Heavyweight Title - In a move that screams Russo booking, David Arquette won the WCW title. While promoting a film he starred in titled "Ready To Rumble," he captured the biggest prize the company had to offer. While this certainly brought more eyes to the product, it really just made the company look bad in most people's eyes, and inevitably did more harm than good. While there have been many celebrity appearances in the past, no one else has ever captured a title. Well, almost no one.

1) Pacman Jones Sort of Helps Win the TNA Tag Titles - Pacman Jones announced that he was going to be on TNA Wrestling. He didn't tell the Tennessee Titans. The Tennessee Titans file a restraining order against TNA to keep him out of the ring. The two parties eventually reach a deal stating that Pacman will appear in a non-physical role. Sounds like the perfect candidate for a tag title reign right? While there was more at play, the story looks extra ridiculous when you factor in that he won it with Ron "The Truth" Killings over Sting and Kurt Angle. Remember when I said that entry 7 was the most Attitude Era thing I had ever written? This is the most TNA thing I've written... So far...

1 Month Anniversary of the Blog

Today is the one month anniversary of Figure Four Writer's Block, and I want to take a moment to thank each and everyone of you who has taken the time to read what I have to say. At just a bit over 400 views, I'd love to hear what you guys have enjoyed, what you've disliked, and what you'd like to see in the future.

We're just starting out here and with your continued support we will continue to learn and grow and hopefully create more content that you enjoy. Based on what viewership looks like on post entries, we will be doing away with Flashback Fridays, and you'll be seeing a lot more character profiles. How else would you like to see things change?

Let me know in the comments, and until next time

Stay too sweet!

The Curious Case Of Bray Wyatt

The Bray Wyatt gimmick debuted in FCW in April of 2012. With over five years behind the character and four on the main roster, the internet seems to have soured a bit on Bray, and in some respects, I can't blame them. It always seems like when the big match rolls around, he chokes. The WWE Universe has started to see him as all talk. Today we're going to take a look at why I still enjoy the character, just as much as when he debuted.

When I first started seeing promos on WWE programming teasing the appearance of the Wyatt Family, I wasn't quite sure what to make of what I was seeing. The pieces took on a weird Max Cady meets Charles Manson vibe. From the very beginning, Wyatt declared himself to be a "monster" and an "eater of worlds" but he also stated that he was the man you relied on to "solve the mysteries of your mind." The Wyatt Family clearly was meant to look like a cult, using Bray as the savior for the fallen and lost souls. While the Undertaker and Kane were built as oh-so-spooky in a very cartoonish way, there is something legitimately frightening about cults and their leaders, as they are characters significantly more based in reality.

When the Wyatts debut on the main roster, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are portrayed as Bray's personal attack dogs. We don't see Bray in a singles match until he competes against Kane in an inferno match, or as it is known in this particular situation, a "Ring of Fire" match. Even in a match where the ring is surrounded by fire, Harper and Rowan find a way to get into the ring to protect their leader. From the very beginning, a precedent is set that Bray will get his hands dirty if he absolutely must, but his army of followers will be more than happy to get involved to keep him safe.

From"Ring of Fire" to "House of Horrors," Bray has often been associated with matches that have some sort of mystical feel to them. This once again begs for him to be compared to Undertaker and Kane. He also feuded with both of these characters on multiple occasions, and is currently calling out Finn Balor, another character with a demon living inside of him. He has even at one point claimed to have captured the powers of the Undertaker and Kane. While he seems to have an obsession with others who have powers beyond those of a mere mortal man, I don't believe that he himself has powers beyond the realm of normal humans. This is what drives his feuds with these characters, and his desire to compete in matches that are outside of the traditional rules. He is jealous of their abilities and looks to find ways to get others to believe that he also exists in the world of the supernatural.

Another example of his jealousy comes from his feud with John Cena. Cena has been booked in a way that has resulted in many fans, especially the more-jaded ones, referring to him as "super-Cena." Completely untouchable, for the longest time, it looked like he was playing the game of professional wrestling in god-mode. Calling Cena's reign as the hero of the WWE as an "era of lies," Wyatt was trying to expose Cena as a fraud, but more importantly, he was trying to position himself as the new hero to the masses. In one match during the feud, he notably summoned an army of children in sheep masks (a recurring theme for members of the cult) to sing "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" at him. I assure you it was much creepier than it reads.

This feud served to simultaneously recruit others and destroy what he has seen as others who would get in the way of him reaching out to new members. While Harper and Rowan, along with Braun Strowman have been the members of the family who have lasted the longest, one would be remissed to not mention other performers who have either joined or teased joining the backwoods cult. Heavily recruited, Daniel Bryan resisted joining the Wyatt Family for as long as he could before losing a match that forced him to become a Wyatt. In a storyline we have seen many times in the past (even as recently as Rey Mysterio and the Straight Edge Society and John Cena and the Nexus), things didn't go quite as Bray hoped and the two parties eventually parted ways, with no real lasting effect to the characters. This really just feels like a brief weird little tangent to the stories of all involved, something to briefly make you think "huh, that was a weird time."

During one of my favorite feuds for both the New Day and the Wyatt Family it was heavily teased that Xavier Woods was under a spell of sorts. While many fans thought that this was something of a literal spell, I always thought it was fairly obvious that it was more likely that Woods was simply frightened by the Wyatts and the compound they called home. While I never thought Woods was leaving the New Day to become a new Wyatt Family member, many did, and we also got a closer glimpse into how deep the Wyatts go through the lense of Xavier Woods' and the New Day's fear.

This brings us to one of the biggest storylines of Bray's career, and one that people seem pretty torn on. In 2016, Randy Orton decided that if he couldn't beat the Wyatts, he would join them, becoming the latest member of the family. Without changing his wardrobe, he did certainly change his character quite a bit. During his run with the family, Orton did everything he could to protect Bray. An interesting feud began during this time between Luke Harper and Randy Orton, eventually leading to Harper leaving the family. An interesting little feud between the two ensued until the moment where Randy finally turned his back on Wyatt. While burning down the compound, Randy claimed his plan all along was to infiltrate the Wyatt Family, screwing them over by destroying them from the inside. A decent percentage of the audience seems to believe that this made Bray look stupid. While I don't agree that he looked stupid, I think it did point to the biggest flaw the character has.

Bray didn't believe Randy would turn on him because Bray buys into his own hype. And why wouldn't he? He has been able to consistently keep his stable relevant for five years. Over those same five years, he has remained more relevant to the title picture than anyone not named John Cena, Randy Orton, or from The Shield. His fireflies show up at every live where he makes an appearance. As much as people protest that he's all talk, and that he doesn't wind up backing it up, we all still tune in. We all still light the entrance ramp with our cell phones. And that's because, just like he claims, he's got the whole world eating of the palm of his hands.

Top 10: Entrances

A wrestler having a memorable entrance is one of the most important parts of building a total character. In the first few minutes we see a performer, we should be able to know what he or she is all about. This is conveyed through music, the performer's physical cues,  and if there are announcers, what is being said about him or her. Some of the performers on this list might not be the greatest in the ring, but they have an entrance and an air about them that supersedes the need to put on five star matches. You become invested in their stories even before they hit the ring. Here are my ten favorite entrances of all time.

10) The Sandman - Many of the current crop of superstars suffer from too similar sounding of an entrance song, and not much individuality to their movements. Compare that to the ECW legend, The Sandman, who was nothing but an entrance. Although on the WWE Network it has been dubbed over, The Sandman would come to the ring to "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. It was very on the nose.  A true man of the people, the Sandman would stumble through the crowd, pounding back beers while posing with his signature Singapore cane raised into the air. Other than cane shots and his Russian leg sweep, I don't remember much about the guy's in ring ability, but he had the crowd eating out of his hand from the initial guitar lick.

9) John Cena - From the second the horns hit, the crowd erupts. Whether it's more cheers or boos tends to depend on the city, but the volume is undeniable. The salute and run down the ramp, throwing the Kerch to the crowd, everything about John Cena's entrance is memorable. Whether you think it is a cool entrance or a tacky one is probably a pretty accurate description of how you feel about the character, a huge part of why he cannot be omitted from this list.

8) Goldberg - Goldberg entrances were so intense that you had to buy into the character. From the ominous march blaring through the speakers, to the team of security escorting him to the ring, to even his pyro effects, every Goldberg match came with a big fight feel. That all starts with, and many would argue ends with, his entrance.

7) The Rock - Starting with his most popular catch phrase, The Rock's theme alone is one of the most iconic of all time. Then, when he hits the stage, no energy is wasted. Every movement has meaning. The energy coursing through everyone's veins becomes sheer electricity, and you feel like he can take down the world. This is why he will be our next president. Compare that to all of Donald Trump's entrances on WWE programming and there's no contest, we all know which one of them will be laying the Smackdown.

6) Shinsuke Nakamura - Shinsuke Nakamura simply oozes charisma. His song is great, and his movements are just so interesting. It is hard to capture in words how charismatic and engaging a Shinsuke performance is, and it gets no better than his entrance.

5) Stone Cold Steve Austin - Stone Cold had such a simple entrance. Glass shatters, generic crunchy distorted riff plays, and he speed walks to the ring to open up a can of whoopass, running his mouth the entire time. It fit so perfectly with his no nonsense gimmick.

4) Finn Balor - Finn Balor benefits from having two separate entrances. His normal entrance is fine for what it is, but what everyone really wants to see is The Demon. When Finn has to channel his inner demon, it is meant as literally as possible. He gets an extended mix on his entrance, crawling on all fours down to the ring. The lighting and fog take you to a completely different place, and the special paint that he wears really stand out on a roster filled with sports entertainers moreso than true characters. Normal Finn might feel like any other guy, but when he has to dig deep, everyone is in for a treat.

3) Hulk Hogan - Hogan is the king of miming. All of his movements feel so big, it doesn't matter if you're in the front row or the nose bleeds, when the Hulkster's music hits, you felt like a part of something huge. And that's what Hulkamania is all about.

2) Triple H - When those distorted chords hit and ring out, you know business is about to pick up. Now a mainstay at professional sports games, Motörhead performed one of the greatest entrance songs of all time. Adding killer lighting, an action figure's physique, and the iconic water spit, Triple H is a no brainer for this list.

1) The Undertaker - The Undertaker may be the greatest character the WWE has ever seen. Such a surreal character only works if the audience is fully immersed from the get go. The gong hit, the dark lighting, the fog, The Undertaker has one of the most visually stunning spectacles in the world of sports entertainment. As a child, I remember the chill cutting through the arena when he entered. Whether as a child, an adult, or otherwise, I've never had as unique of an experience in the world of professional wrestling as watching The Undertaker making his way to the ring.

Backlash 2017: The Unhindering

Backlash 2017 was a very interesting show. I'm sure you will get plenty of opinions on whether or not it was a good show, but I was entertained overall, and that's enough for me.

The first match of the night was on the preshow. Aiden English did good enough of a job getting cheap heat from the Chicago crowd before being interrupted yet again by Tye Dillinger. Tyr appears to have won his outfit in some sort of intergalactic tournament, successfully finding a way to make Chris Jericho's entrance gear look subdued and modest. As expected, Dillinger gets the win in a pretty standard preshow match.

In retrospect, I shouldn't be surprised that Nakamura vs Ziggler was the first match of the main show. These are two guys that can go, and while Ziggler has never been someone I've enjoyed, he has done a pretty good job in the past of helping guys get over. Opening matches have become somewhat known for high octane offense and hard hitting moves. That's why when this match became a weird showcase of Dolph Ziggler and rest holds, I got taken out of it a bit. This isn't to say it was a bad match, it was just significantly different from what I expected and what I wanted. The commentary team did the match no favors, but I think the bigger issue was just two styles that didn't mesh well. I've always thought Ziggler's style felt cartoonish in the worst way possible. Just an over-glossed shiny package of overselling and flailing about. Contrasted with Nakamura's style, which looks very hard hitting and real, the match just felt off. Overall, it was just there. Not good, not bad.

Next we had the tag titles on the line in a match between Breezango and the Usos. Tyler Breeze was clearly the star of this match, possibly outshined by a mop, but certainly by no other humans. The spot where he was avoiding the top rope splash had me in stitches. This match was everything I love about pro wrestling. The competitors clearly didn't take themselves too seriously, and it resulted in one of the most memorable matches of the night. While the Usos retained,  I think the match did a lot for Breezango, and I'm hoping this leads to more opportunities for these two.

Sami Zayn took on Baron Corbin next. I enjoyed this match. It wasn't the best or most memorable match of the night but the two worked well together. In the end, the underdog from the underground, Sami Zayn picks up the victory in a match both men came out of looking good. I wouldn't be surprised to see this feud continue, but I could easily see it ending here as well. I think the best course of action would be for them to use their history to add another level of intrigue to the money in the bank match, which I expect both to be a part of. On a related note, Sami has new pants with an Operation Ivy quote on them. Nothing particularly remarkable here, but I like them.

James Ellsworth came to the ring to begin the introductions for the six women tag match. I really can't see why this match wasn't on a regular episode of Smackdown Live, so that all of these women could move on. Instead we have the "welcoming committee" taking on Naomi, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch. The name "the welcoming committee" is super clunky, though I don't hate the idea of pairing Carmella and Ellsworth with Tamina. Allowing Ellsworth and Carmella to be scared, sneaky heels while Tamina just hits power moves and superkicks seems like a winning situation for all involved. I've never been sold on Natalya. Becky and Charlotte are certainly the best in the ring out of all of the Smackdown Live women's roster, though I am glad they aren't thrown right into a feud with each other. Naomi has a fun entrance, but her offense is really weird. Her awkward kick combos are hard to watch, but she'll usually pull a few moves out of her belt that will surprise you. Hopefully this tag match was just being used as a reset on the division and everyone will be doing more meaningful things in the coming weeks. In the end, Natalya makes Becky tap to the sharpshooter. I have no idea why.

The new face of America defended the US title against the Phenomenal One next in what is absolutely the match of the night. Kevin Owens and AJ Styles are two of the best in the world right now, and the best in the WWE. In the end we see AJ's leg get tangled in one of the ringside announce tables while getting counted out so KO gets the win. While a lot of fans seemed to dislike the finish, it felt like the perfect way for Owens to score the win tonight. It was a creative finish, and even though he was very competitive throughout the match, he still looks like a bit of a coward for winning via countout. Clearly this isn't the last time we see these two compete against each other, and I can't wait for the rematch.

The cooldown match between the two singles title matches was between two former Wyatt Family members and former tag team champions, Erick Rowan and Luke Harper. This was a very physical match, and I'm curious to watch it without seeing Owens vs Styles right before it. Both men put on a good show in this athletic hoss fight, though I can't say that I agree with the finish. Luke Harper had a ton of momentum early in the year, but then he was given up on. Erick Rowan has been showing quite a bit more character than we have ever seen from him before (minus that really strange solo run he had surrounding Survivor Series a few years back), yet he takes the loss after a discus lariat from Harper. This feels like a match that deserves a rematch, and I'm looking forward to this feud getting fleshed out a bit more.

In the main event of the evening, Randy Orton looked to keep his 13th title run alive against Jinder Mahal. It has been quite some time since I've truly enjoyed a Randy Orton match, and Jinder Mahal was never my cup of tea. With that said, I've enjoyed his most recent run as a heel, and in some ways I'm interested to see where this goes. I don't expect to see him in a five star match, but some of the most popular wrestlers of all time have been terrible in the ring. Jinder isn't Hulk Hogan, but I like to see fresh blood in the main event scene. As of right now, I do agree with the idea that it is too much too soon for this relatively unproven challenger-now-champion, but I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised by a serviceable title run.

How To Behave In Public: A Night Spent At The Local Indie Show

I recently went to a local indie show. As a followup to a previous post, there were three suicide dive spots, and they were all over the course of the first two matches. Everyone worked a fairly safe, but very entertaining style, which led to an overall very good show. It is a shame that the thing I'm most compelled to write about happened outside of the ring.

Coming out of intermission, the promotion began the second half of the show with the women's title on the line. We got a pretty good match, and my friend who I attended the show with and I found ourselves firmly supporting the babyface champion in her successful title defense. Unfortunately, you would've never guessed a match was happening from the crowd reaction. Instead, the crowd was too busy trying to get themselves over by chanting at the competitors to dance, and, significantly worse, "69." It even got to the point where it appeared the babyface partner of the champion broke character to say something to these alleged fans.

Whenever someone in a crowd is being particularly rude or obnoxious, you will hear the excuse of "I paid for my seat, I have the right to act how I want." To an extent, there is some truth to this. In this particular situation however, these spectators disrupted the performance that, not only they, but hundreds of others paid to see. They found their lack of respect for the in-ring competitors so entertaining, that they ruined the experience for those around them. Disrespecting women just because they're women and chanting sexually charged phrases at them is unacceptable, and the fact that an entire corner of a room felt the need to join in is a disgrace.

Something like this is going beyond the point of just being a crowd that boos the face and cheers the heel. In that scenario, I'm all for the right to express yourself coming with the price of admission. I cannot condone objectifying the performers. These people have trained many long, hard hours to put on the best show they can for you. No amount of money you paid or they are making gives you the right to strip them of their dignity. As a community of fans, we need to do a better job of policing ourselves when we hear things like this begin to happen, and I appreciate everyone that joined in on hiking this behavior as both a sign of disapproval, but also to drown out the chants. If you plan on attending an event soon, keep in mind that there are quiet often children around, and that these wrestlers are putting their bodies on the line for you. You owe it to all involved to be respectful of those two facts.

Pro wrestling fans have been harshly judged as, putting it lightly, the lowest common denominator. Enjoying a bunch of brightly dressed, larger-than-life characters pretending to hurt each other will probably do that. We should strive to be better. Keep in mind that for every blood thirsty fan ready to shout "kill" during every match, you're likely to find someone who enjoys "The World's Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly. I'm not saying you need to walk on eggshells all show, but maybe take a look around and think about if you'd be cool with shouting what you're about to shout in front of these people outside of the context of a wrestling show.

Backlash Predictions

Flashback Friday will have to be postponed, because a burrito is on the line based on who has the most accurate predictions. So let's get right into it, here are my predictions for Backlash this Sunday.

On the preshow, Aiden English will square off with Tye Dillinger. I expect these two to put on a good match, but the preshow almost feels non-canonical. With the exception of the occasional title-change, nothing really has much consequence from this spot on the card, so I expect Tye Dillinger to prove why he's the Perfect 10 by securing the victory and getting the crowd properly warmed up for the main card.

I'm curious about which match goes on first, but if I had to guess, I would expect it to be Sami Zayn taking on Baron Corbin. These two are probably my favorites in the midcard, so I'm pretty excited for this match, which is my pick for match of the night, even on a card featuring Kevin Owens vs AJ Styles. I've got Baron Corbin winning, so that the underdog from the underground can get the victory back on a bigger stage.

Luke Harper vs Erick Rowan will be the Smackdown equivalent of the Strowman Reigns feud, in that this match will be a hard hitting hoss battle. I don't expect a technical masterpiece, but I do think both of these guys can really go for guys their size so expect some surprising spots. From what I've read they've been doing with Rowan on house shows and this week's Talking Smack segment, I've got Big Red going over, but this is another feud I could see continuing for at least one more major card.

"The welcoming committee" of Natalya, Carmella (with James Ellsworth), and Tamina take on Naomi, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch. I've got the heels winning on Sunday. The other prediction I have for this match: Charlotte had been behind the union of the other three all along. Either Naomi or Charlotte need to turn in this match or it wastes a spot on the card tocme that could have been filled with a women's title defense. The story itself is too "story mode" from a wrestling video game for me.

In the last nontitle match on the card, Shinsuke Nakamura debuts against Dolph Ziggler. Obviously Shinsuke wins, and the internet will be torn on whether or not Adolph is the greatest seller of all time, after his head is kicked into the cheap seats.

The Usos are defending their tag titles against Breezango after Fandango and Breeze won the "beat the clock" challenge a few weeks back. Smackdown's tag division still isn't doing a whole lot for me. I hope that will change once The New Day debuts, but for now, this is what we've got. I take Breezango. Why not give them a title run and see if it gets any more eyes on the division?

The US title is on the line in what are most are expecting to be a five star match of the night when AJ Styles challenges Kevin Owens. These two are both great in the ring and I'm sure that this will be a fun match. This is also a feud that doesn't have to be blown off after one match, especially with a heel champion. My official pick is Kevin Owens winning, which I'm pretty 50/50 on, but I am certain that he retains his title, and The Phenomenal One will continue to chase.

World champion Randy Orton defends against Jinder Mahal in the main event. With the Singh Brothers in his corner and a really creepy, inhuman physique , Mahal presents an interesting challenge. With that said, I expect this match to just be filler as someone else prepares to challenge Orton for the belt. Orton retains, hitting an RKO out of a surprisingly predictable position. He also teases a suicide dive at some point.

All in all, I expect a pretty average show Sunday. Hopefully we get a few surprises, but just like Mahal's situation in his match, I expect this card to be a feeling out of the future of a few different characters. With a bit of a Wrestlemania/Superstar Shakeup hangover still present, I'm okay with this, though I'd be thrilled to see a bit more.

So who do you have winning Sunday's matches? Let me know, and we'll if I'm one burrito richer early next week.

Until then, stay (too) sweet!

10 Best Mic Workers

As much as I enjoy the athleticism involved in professional wrestling, the ability to work the microphone is a skill that cannot be taken for granted. If you ever watched a match featuring Enzo and Cass without seeing their entrance, you'd be wondering not how they made it onto the main roster, and I'd still be getting lessons from the guy down the street who promised to help me with my G certification.

Whether it's through power moves, look, aerial acrobatics, technical prowess, or speaking circles around the opponent, a wrestler's main objective needs to be connecting with the crowd and making them feel invested in the match. Here are my ten favorites at doing this simply by opening their mouths. (For the purpose of this list, I did not include Paul Heyman, Vince McMahon, etc. as their main purpose was to speak, rather than to compete in matches.)

10) Jay Lethal - Jay Lethal is one of the best in the world in the ring. While I believe he was held back in TNA, Black Machismo was responsible for some of my favorite moments from the time, which is especially impressive given how amazing the TNA roster was. Remembering the time he mumbled "Snake Roberts ruined my wedding" under his breath will forever make me laugh, and Lethal's back and forth promo with Ric Flair was so many of the things I love about wrestling rolled into one interaction.

9) The Dudleys - When I say the Dudleys here, I mean vintage ECW Dudleys. Sign Guy, Bubba Ray, D-Von, Dances With, Big Dick, Joel Gertner, the whole family. If Heyman sent them out, the crowd was about to be treated to a long, vulgar introduction from Gertner, a litany of insults from everyone else, and new favorite babyfaces in whoever came out to attempt to shut them up.

8) The Outsiders - Hall and Nash were so much different than everything WCW was doing when they first debuted. What can almost be seen as a compliment to their ability, the reason they started to lose their magic came from everyone attempting to bite their style. In a world of loud, nonsensical, screaming promos, The Outsiders came out and told you quite plainly they came to change the wrestling world. The difference in tone really separated them from everyone else and made every word they said feel that much more important.

7) Macho Man Randy Savage - Savage promos were the polar opposite of what you get from The Outsiders. He shouted and shouted, whispered very intensely, and spoke nonsense, but somehow it worked. If you saw Mean Gene standing next to Macho Man on your screen, you knew you were in for a treat. 

6) The Miz - Coming from the world of reality televison( The Miz may have come in with a bit of an advantage in promos. Seeing him do charity work and being interviewed for fluff pieces, it's hard to believe that this is the same man that you instantly hate every time he appears on your tv screen. In his eyes, he is Lebron James, Barry Bonds, and Muhammad Ali rolled into one. Or probably more accurately, they all wish they were him. There's something about how he carries himself that instantly makes you want to see him get beat. His feuds with John Cena and Daniel Bryan are two of my favorite feuds in recent memory and he had just as much to do with it as these two legends.

5) CM Punk - Whether he was being the voice of the voiceless or the straightedge savior, Punk could have the crowd eating of his hand. Heel, face, it didn't matter, when he spoke, the crowd bought in. While people will always speak of "the pipe bomb" when making arguments about his mic skills, I loved the Straight Edge Society days as well as his feud with Jeff Hardy.

4) The Rock - The Rock is a catchphrase machine. Everything about him feels larger than life, and his promos have a lot to do with that. This ability to talk has launched an unparalleled Hollywood career. The man simply oozes charisma. He made the word jabroni cool twenty years ago, and I still hear non-wrestling-fans use it to this day.

3) Dusty Rhodes - Dusty was a believable challenger to 16 time world champion Ric Flair, even though his gimmick was always that he was just a guy like you or I. Not only that, he was arguably Flair's greatest feud. This isn't possible without the ability to get the crowd behind him. Dusty was so good on the mic, and at conveying who his character was, after retiring, he taught promo classes for the NXT performers. If you haven't seen the "hard times" promo, you owe it to yourself to look it up.

2) Chris Jericho - Remembering back to my post about WCW's cruiserweight division, the majority of the competitors got over with their movesets and unique look. Chris Jericho had a decent enough moveset, and I would argue a pretty average look at the time. The one thing that he had that set him apart was his ability to speak. His "man of 1,004 holds" promo is one of my all-time favorites. His feud with Goldberg was one of the best of Goldberg's career. In his WWF debut, he started out on the mic going one on one with The Rock. Throughout his entire WWF/WWE run, he became such a spectacle on the mic, he couldn't help but be cheered for his delivery. What did he do when he was still getting cheered as a heel? Well he completely changed that signature delivery, leading to another legendary feud, this time with Shawn Michaels. His most recent run with Kevin Owens sealed his status as one of the greatest in WWE history, if not all around, certainly on the mic.

1) Ric Flair - Ric Flair promos are simply timeless. The arrogant playboy persona was perfected by Ric Flair, and to this day, people still rave about The Nature Boy. Rick Ross, Pusha T, Cam'ron, and plenty of other rappers have referenced Flair, or even named tracks or mixtapes after him. Simply put, Ric Flair is one of the most quotable wrestlers of all-time. With his signature WOO(oooooooo), there are very few wrestlers as easily recognizable, purely from the sound of his or her voice. At the age of 68, he can still command a crowd. Say what you will about his in-ring skills towards the twilight of his career, but his career lasted over 40 years, and his promos from the tail-end of his career are just as memorable as some of his early work in the 1970s.

Who do you think is missing from this list? How would you have ordered your own? Let me know in the comments and, until next time, stay (too) sweet!

Dives Or Headlocks?

Over the weekend, a post began to make its way around the internet. The general consensus in the "big leagues" of the WWE is that every indie match is the exact same. A dive-heavy, finisher-fest where no one sells anything and moves are inconsequential. The guys makin the big bucks after all, well, they're very safe workers and put butts in seats with a headlock and a pose! And of course, the man that is leading the charge on this anti indie crusade is Randy Orton.

Randy Orton is a 13 time world champion, so surely his opinion certainly comes with more weight than someone sitting behind a keyboard (or for this particular writer, sitting on the subway, typing on his phone). With that said, I have to say that this is all coming from the man who couldn't be trusted to put on an entertaining match with Bray Wyatt to the point of having to have a projector be a main focus of their Wrestlemania match, and a B-movie scene for a rematch. Maybe doing something a little different with either of their movesets could have created a more intriguing match. What if Randy hit a Sister Abigail, or a discus clothesline, one of the moves he learned from spending so long behind enemy lines. Orton also goes on to, in a separate tweet, brag about how Smackdown Live outsold Raw on the latest European tour. Keep in mind that this is with an additional show, but they did still sell product. The WWE model is clearly the most popular in the world of professional wrestling, and with the exception of John Cena and possibly Roman Reigns, no one exemplifies the WWE style quite like Orton.

One thing Orton fails to mention is that some of the biggest names on the current Smackdown Live card have cut their teeth for years either in the indies or Japan. For every Randy Orton, Tye Dillinger, or Mojo Rawley who have spent the majority of their careers in the WWE system, there was a Kevin Owens, AJ Styles, or Shinsuke Nakamura. This is actually something that I greatly appreciate about the current product: Orton isn't wrong, but he isn't exactly right. While we've all seen our fair share of indie matches with no psychology we've also seen plenty of indie appearances by older WWE guys who show up, don't bump, and hit their three moves before collecting their paychecks. For every unnecessary flip botched on Botchamania, there's an episode of World Famous Flea Market where guys are botching scoop slams.

Keeping all of this in mind, I am of the opinion that "flippy shit" is far more entertaining than rest holds. I'd rather see Ricochet than Randy Orton, but I'll take a guy like AJ Styles, who has blended the best of the two extremes of this standoff, every single time. There's too much room in the world of pro wrestling for one side to be right about this argument. Go out and actively support what you enjoy. The unnecessary infighting between people looking to make a living doing the same thing is the biggest problem about this entire situation, but by Friday, no one will remember any of this, and hopefully you'll be experiencing a live event. I know I will.

Until then, thanks for reading, and stay (too) sweet!

Flashback Friday: ECW

For today's Flashback Friday, we'll be taking a look back at ECW. If you remember, there was a period of time when TNN filled their Friday night programming block with ECW, Roller Jam, and Monster trucks. Surely living up to the moniker The Nashville Network.

When you look back at ECW, you probably, and justifiably, immediately think back to the extreme, hardcore action that set it apart from WCW and (then) WWF.  Don't forget that ECW was really the first place a lot of guys like Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, and Rey Mysterio Jr a shot in America. Although they were all cornerstones of WCW's cruiserweight division and eventually world champions in WWE, without Paul Heyman looking for something else to offer his audience, these legendary performers may never have entered the US scene. Beyond this crop of international talent, the rivalry between Jerry Lynn and Rob Van Dam is one of my all time favorites, purely based on how good the in-ring content was.

Of course with that said, the majority of ECW's audience seemed to have been bloodthirsty young adults, and they wanted to see "the hardcore, chair swinging, freak" Balls Mahoney and "the homicidial, suicidal, genocidal maniac" Sabu just as much, if not more, than a technical, five star spectacle. Flaming table spots, diving off of arena balconies, fans bringing their own weapons, there were very few things out of the realm of possibility. From the early days with Cactus Jack and Terry Funk, until the very end when Rhino was goring everyone in eyeshot through a table, ECE was violence personified and the fans ate it up.

Thinking of the fans, ECW really was one of the early breeding grounds for the modern, "smark" crowd. Before the days of Full Sail, there was the ECW Arena. Notorious for vulgar chants, unique characters, and passionate fans, the crowd became a very important part of what the company was. If the original product wasn't enough, as Exhibit B, I'll submit the first "One Night Stand" pay-per-view the WWE promoted. That night's crowd was one for the ages, and the show, while it had its high spots and lows, is worth watching just for them.

The original little indie that could, ECW grew from such a small part of the wrestling industry, and rose to great heights. Next week we'll look at some of the flaws that lead to their downfall.

Until then, stay (too) sweet!

My Favorite Finishers

A character can be made, or made to look like a fool, purely based on how he or she ends a match. A lot of work goes into the moveset a competitor uses, and the finisher should be the culmination of everything a match has built to. What are some of your favorite finishers? Here are my top 10:

10) Figure Four Leg Lock - This move has been around for as long as I can remember, and with that staying power, comes a list of legends who have used it. Greg Valentine, Dusty Rhodes, Jeff Jarrett, Tito Santana, AJ Styles, The Miz, and of course Ric Flair have all used the move to finish off opponents. For a submission move you are just as likely to see mid match as a weardown hold, few things in wrestling match the intensity of watching one of these guys lock the Figure Four on an opponent.

9) DDT - Similarly to the Figure Four, the DDT is a move that you might not see as a finisher as often as you did in the past, but when hit correctly, it looks as deadly as any other move on the list. Both Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Raven used it as a finisher, and it fit their characters perfectly. As long as the opponent can take the move safely, it is virtually impossible to sell poorly which is an added bonus for this simple but effective looking move.

8) Go To Sleep - KENTA/Hideo Itami and CM Punk have made the GTS famous and this move is the perfect mix of slam and strike. I love this move even more when the opponent is struggling to escape, and it is a move that looks great being countered. With a setup so dramatic, the speed of the knee strike looks even more sudden and lethal.

7) Tombstone Piledriver - There are very few moves that, although many other wrestlers have used it, can be linked so strongly to just one performer. I can't see this move living beyond the careers of the Undertaker and Kane, at least not in the WWE. While the move itself doesn't do that much for me when performed by anyone else, the way it leads so perfectly into the Undertaker's signature pin makes the move almost as much of an icon as the deadman himself.

6) Perfect-Plex/Fisherman's Suplex - A fisherman's suplex, for me, is the perfect mix of an impactful slam and an opponent being so tied up, that they can't escape. For someone like "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, it was an example of both his strength, his technical prowess, and it always looks flashy. It matched his character, in a word, perfectly. While I can't think of anyone who performed it better, I always mark out a bit when I see anyone use it.

5) Chokeslam - While several of the previous moves made the list because they merged a few different styles of moves together, the chokeslam represents one thing: sheer size and power. From 911 to The Big Show, Abyss to (allegedly) Abraham Lincoln, if a bigman hits you with one of these, there's a slim chance you're kicking out.

4) Superkick - The superkick is, at this point, one of the most overused moves, regardless of promotion. If it weren't for this fact, the move would probably be even higher on the list. No other move has become such a staple of the modern wrestling moveset, which goes to show how influential Shawn Michaels was and how devastating Sweet Chin Music was. To speak to the overuse of the move at this point, I've grown to love the fact that the Young Bucks use the move so much to the point of parody. The most metafiction-influenced team finishing off opponents after a flurry of superkicks is one of the most entertaining things in wrestling today.

3) Styles Clash - There's just something about the Styles Clash. AJ Styles is easily one of the best in the world at what he does, as he's shown in TNA, NJPW, and now WWE, with an exciting, one of a kind assortment of moves. Although he's finished rivals off with the calf crusher, the phenomenal forearm, the spiral tap, no move is as unique as the Styles Clash (sorry Michelle McCool, I'm not including your name for the move in this discussion). AJ, along with Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe (who's muscle buster almost made the list) put TNA on the map for me so I might be biased, but there are few moves that look as devastating, while also being believeably countered, and even more believeable for AJ to struggle with. Add in the fact that the bump itself at the end is so incredibly specific and unique, this move is a no-brainer for me.

2) Stone Cold Stunner - As a move, the Stunner isn't any different from Disco Inferno's Chartbuster, or any other stunner that undoubtedly countless others have used or will continue to use. Much like so many other things about the "Stone Cold" Steve Austin character, the move was part of a perfect storm that for some reason just clicked. From the boot to the gut to how often it was really the only thing that happened in an attack from the Texas Rattlesnake, the stunner was the whipped cream and cherry on top of the total package that was the biggest star of the attitude era.

1) Cutter/RKO/Diamond Cutter - No move creates drama without even being attempted quite like this one. Call it what you will, but you know that if the wrestler you're rooting for has this move in his or her arsenal as a finisher, your favorite to win will always have a chance. To add another layer of psychology to the move, you also know that the performer you're rooting against also knows that your performer of choice can pull this move out at any second. The tension from the countless potentialoptions for counters and ways to hit this move alone makes this the number one greatest finisher of all time. This only leaves the question: who does it best? "The Viper" Randy Orton, "Diamond" Dallas Paige, or "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson? I believe that's a discussion for a different day.

Think I've forgotten a move? Hate my list and want to completely rewrite it? Want to let me know that I did everything perfect and nothing should change? Let me know in the comments below.

Until then, stay (too) sweet!

This Year's "Best of the Super Juniors"

The schedule for this year's BOSJ had been released, here's a list of the competitors in each block:

A-Block
Jushin Thunder Liger
TAKA Michinoku
Ricochet
Taichi
Will Ospreay
Marty Scurll
Hiromu Takahashi
Dragon Lee

B-Block
Tiger Mask IV
Volador Jr.
ACH
BUSHI
KUSHIDA
El Desperado
Ryusuke Taguchi
Yoshinobu Kanemaru

Takahasi has to be the favorite for the tournament, and I'm excited to see if anyone can get in The Time Bomb's way as he looks to prove he is the best Jr. Heavyweight in the world.

Until next time, stay (too) sweet!

Flashback Friday: WCW Cruiserweights

Welcome to the Flashback Friday here at Figure Four Writer's Block. Today we will be taking a look at WCW's cruiserweight division.

When I was a kid I was absolutely in love with the colorful masks and costumes introduced at the beginning of each show. With a few notable exceptions like Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Jericho (sorry El Dandy), these guys had to sell so much more charisma through their wardrobe since they couldn't emote with their faces. The speed with which you would see competitors move, and the way they would fly, it was like watching a Saturday morning cartoon played out in real life.

Today, there's a lot of kickback on the performers on 205 Live, the new cruiserweight division for WWE. People complain that it just isn't the same and that's true, but let's think about why that is. The biggest hurdle for them to overcome is working the "WWE style", while still having to set themselves apart. If I can see the same moves out of Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, or even Kevin Owens and Kassius Ohno, I have significantly less reason to care about these guys only allowed to compete against each other. Along those same lines, they're so isolated. Chris Jericho is a legendary cruiserweight. Because of the lowered weight limit, and other unnecessary conditions, you will never see him on 205 Live, and 205 Live is a WWE Network exclusive program. This means, thanks to things like YouTube, Netflix, and cable, I can access a similar, if not superior, product just as easily. Lucha Underground on Netflix and cable, Impact Wrestling's X-Division on cable, or looking up Kota Ibushi or Zach Sabre Jr on YouTube will all result in higher quality matches, without a $9.99 premium.

In the mid to late 90's, WCW had some of the best in-ring action in America, and a lot of that is because of the cruiserweights. Here are some of my favorite characters from the time.

1) Chris Jericho - His feuds with Rey Mysterio Jr, Dean Malenko, and Bill Goldberg were some of my all-time favorite feuds from WCW, and you could tell from even then that he was bound for greatness. While WCW never put him in their main event scene, he was always a must-see segment.

2) Rey Mysterio Jr. - On the topic of must-see segments, Rey Mysterio matches from the time were groundbreaking. While he would go on to find even more success in the WWE as well, he was one of the most popular men on the roster, and Kevin Nash throwing him like a lawn dart into a sound truck is still one of the most memorable moments of the NWO invasion.

3) Eddie Guerrero - Similar to the two previously mentioned stars, Eddie's career would sore to even greater heights once he left for green pastures, but during his time in the cruiserweight division, he was one of the easiest to hate in the company. Eddie also did a great job, at least to me as a child, of blurring the lines between kayfabe and reality. Child-me also thought the LWO had the coolest of the NWO-themed t-shirts.

4) La Parka - Whether it was the skeleton themed attire, the absurd chicken-like dance, or that he was built quite a bit differently than the rest of his competition, La Parka was always a favorite of mine. Also going by the moniker of "The Chairman of WCW", he always stood out to me.

5) Blitzkrieg - Blitzkrieg was an interesting story. He had some of the best high-flying moves at the time. With a flashy appearance as well, he couldn't help but standout, to the extent of being named the Wrestling Observer's 1999 Rookie of the Year, and earning the #99 spot in Pro Wrestling Illustrated's top 500. After a career-ending concussion, he went to nursing school and continues to be a nurse to this day.

Were you following WCW at the time? Who were your favorite wrestlers 240 lbs. and under? Let me know in the comments below, and until next time stay (too) sweet.

Why The Bullet Club/Hot Topic Deal is Important

According to Wikipedia, Hot Topic "is an American retail chain specializing in counterculture-related clothing and accessories, as well as licensed music." Aiming the majority, if not all, of their product at teenagers who are into video games, Funko Pops, sad and angry things, and black t-shirts, at one point you could the chain listed on every mall's directory. Then people stopped going to malls. Much like the zombies in many a Hot Topic kid's favorite movie or tv series, I'm fairly certain that the stores are still all over the place, stalking the chained wallets of their key demographic.

Late in April, it was announced that Hot Topic would start carrying t-shirts from the Young Bucks, Kenny Omega, The Elite, and the Bullet Club in July at select locations. If sales are good, they will look to expand the line to all stores. As a wrestling fan, I'm excited about what this means for the hardworking talent mentioned above, but also for the industry as a whole.

For those of you unfamiliar, the Bullet Club is a faction mainly in New Japan Pro Wrestling, with satellite chapters in Ring of Honor and other organizations. Founded by Prince Devitt (now Finn Balor in the WWE), Karl Anderson, Tama Tonga, and Bad Luck Fale. A group of heels, the all-gaijin (non Japanese) faction became hated for their use of super-westernized wrestling tropes and blatant lack of respect for the tradition of Japanese wrestling. As this garnered quite a bit of heat in Japan, the US crowd ate it up. Clearly heavily influenced by DX and the NWO, the Bullet Club was a great mix of nostalgia and in-ring talent, as the group added AJ Styles, the Young Bucks, Kenny Omega, Adam Cole (baybay), and many others to their ranks.

Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks, collectively known as The Elite (The The Elite), are three of the most polarizing men in professional wrestling. Some people watch in awe of their athleticism and innovative movesets. Some claim they're "killing the business" by wrestling nine year old girls and blow up dolls, or by superkicking a small child for his birthday, amongst many other complaints. The Young Bucks are the current ROH tag team champions as well as the hosts of "Superkick Parties" every time they come to the ring. They're like playing a video game with unlimited finishers turned on. Their gear is obnoxious, they parody past wrestling gimmicks, and they sell a boatload of merchandise.

Kenny "The Cleaner" Omega has been wrestling all over the globe for years, though he currently resides in Japan. He is the first gaijin to win the G1 Climax tournament, earning a title shot at the biggest show NJPW puts on every year at the Tokyo Dome, Wrestle Kingdom. While he didn't capture the IWGP heavyweight title, he did come out still looking pretty great, and the match earned a 6 star rating on Dave Meltzer's 5 star scale. It was, quite literally, the greatest match I have ever seen.

If you are looking for top name draws from outside the WWE, The Elite and the Bullet Club have to be front of mind, so it only makes sense for Hot Topic to reach out to these money printing machines to carry their product. From the perspective of the wrestlers, I'm sure they will still be able to sell on ProWrestlingTees.com and YoungBucksMerch.com, as well as at live events and anywhere else you might find their gear. All this does is put even more eyes on these international top tier talents. The thing that I am most excited about is what this means for the industry as a whole.

With NJPW coming to the USA for this year's G1, Billy Corgan's acquisition of the NWA, Lucha Underground, Impact Wrestling, and ROH all easily enough to access in the United States, as well the slew of regional indie promotions, there may be challengers again to WWE's stranglehold on the number one spot in the world of professional wrestling. In today's world, you can find anything you want in wrestling if you look hard enough. The addition of these shirts to the inventory carried at a major staple of the modern American mall is a sign of just how easy that search is becoming.

Payback Reaction

Payback 2017 is in the books, and for a B show, it was a pretty fun card with a couple surprises. Let's go ahead and jump right into the action, starting with the preshow.

During the preshow we had Enzo and Cass vs The Club. On this particular occasion, we get Enzo and Cass reciting a Chinese food menu. These two could quite literally recite a phone book and the live crowd would still eat it up. The Club do a great job of building heat leading up to the hot tag to Big Cass. Once they've weathered the storm of Big Cass, The Club go back on the offense. As they set up for the Magic Killer, Big Cass rescues the constant damsel in distress, Enzo Amore, allowing Enzo to catch Luke Gallows in a small package to sneak out the victory. All in all a fun, traditional tag match, where no one comes out looking particularly weaker or stronger than how they came into the match.

The main card opens with the US title. The new Face Of America stage makes KO look like Wreck-It Ralph. I'm still deciding if that's a good or bad thing. Owens and Jericho are two of my favorites on the roster, so I popped a little when I realized these two were opening the show. Even with this being a Mania rematch, they were able to keep the match fresh, and actually particularly vicious looking (KO's counter to the top rope dropkick Jericho, or Jericho's rampage on KO's hand). When Jericho gets Owens to tap to the Walls of Jericho, I'm pleasantly surprised. The show opens with a surprise victory and a really high-quality match. Great start.

From the US title to the cruiserweights, next we have King Neville defending his belt against Austin Aries. This was a really great back and forth match and there were moments where I was sure Aries was about to claim the title, especially after locking in Last Chancery. While this technically did end the match, it was when Neville used the referee to get himself disqualified to retain the title. At this point, we're two for two on matches of great quality. Even with a bogus finish, this was still a fantastic match.

As the duo of Sheamus and Cesaro make their way to ring to challenge the Hardys, the WWE has made it perfectly clear the grudge matches are higher on the card then the title matches as we get our third match with a title on the line in a row. Throughout this match, there were many chants for the #BROKEN universe from the San Jose crowd. In a match between Cesaro and Sheamus and "Team Xtreme," it isn't surprising that we see both legit color and a newly missing tooth. Also, is alabaster gladiator a common nickname for sheamus that I have just somehow missed? I love it. In the end we see the Hardys retain, in what was again a very good match. While these teams have shown great sportsmanship in what has been a face vs face team rivalry, Sheamus and Cesaro attack the Hardys after a handshake. I don't think the post match attack was necessary, but I'm hoping it was used too"break" Matt Hardy. If this isn't the case, I'm a bit critical of WWE needing to make everything as cut and dry as face vs heel.

At this point it is a forgone conclusion but next we have Bayley defending against Alexa Bliss for the women's title. As of late it has become a bit of a thing where we get introduced to every one of our announce teams individually. I don't see why this wasn't during any other intro, other than our hometown hero, Bayley's entrance. This was the start of the night going downhill.

When I think of how I would book a wrestling organization, I have always believed your face is more entertaining chasing a title rather than defending. This is especially important with a character like Bayley. She is the lovable underdog! There are two places where she should succeed. The first place is The Big Show. She shouldn't have won the title until 'Mania. After that, well, your babyface should win in the babyface's hometown. Alexa Bliss going over tonight made no sense to me, and I understand that this puts me on the wrong side of the Internet. Feel free to insult me in the comments below. The internet loves Alexa Bliss. I'm assuming they're just projecting since the mean girl never went out with them in high school, but I digress. The wrong woman won tonight and this decision really blew the match for me, making it the worst match of the night thus far. The correct booking decision would've brought it from a 3 to a 3.5.

A House of Horrors match, according to WWE is a match that starts in Missouri, on the set of second year film major (who hasn't been hugged enough)'s end of year project. I've been more terrified of my recently installed tension rod falling, exposing me in the shower. I'm also disappointed that there wasnt a room filled with snakes. The Viper Randy Orton being deathly afraid of snakes is hilarious in my book. After 12 minutes of pretape, including Bray pinning Randy under a refrigerator, Bray Wyatt changes the lighting on the side of his house of horrors and catches a limo back to the arena.

Since the distance from the house of horrors to the SAP Center is roughly one Samoa Joe vs Seth Rollins match long, they figured they'd toss it in. The current Samoa Joe reminds me of Angle vs Joe at Lockdown style Joe. He's a legitimate badass that might legitimately kill you. Before I paid my condolences to the Rollins' family I figured I'd watch the match. I've been a massive Joe mark for over a decade at this point, so I was obviously very excited for his main roster debut, and this match really didn't disappoint. Seth does a great job in this match in the role of survivor, while sneaking in with the win off of the bridge while being in the chokehold.

Luckily, Joe vs Rollins match took just long enough that they could run a brief commercial break before we get Bray arriving via limo before performing his full entrance. After he blows out his lantern, the arena goes extra dark so Randy Orton could appear behind an overly confident Bray Wyatt. Once the match continues in the SAP Arena, Randy takes control. As he's about to claim victory, the Bollywood Boys run in. After making quick work of the newly named Singh brothers, Jinder Mahal hits Orton with the title he stole on Smackdown Live. What do we learn from this match? How to make someone look weak in victory. Not only did Orton get taken out of his element into a house made out of horror, but Wyatt needed help from the Bollywood Boys, the current number one contender for his title, and a foreign object, just to secure a victory. Even when Bray wins, he still loses.

Lastly we have Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns. A few minutes in, I realize that this will be the superhero, anime, larger than larger-than-life battle I've been expecting. If the SAP Arena is still standing after this, the architect deserves a raise. After a great hoss battle, Strowman defeats Roman, and proceeds to beat him with the ring steps to close the show.

Overall, we got a pretty fun B show, that certainly served its purpose. With that said, the house of horrors march was a total disappointment, and if all pay per views were created equal, I'd call this card a let down. I'll give it a 6.5 out of 10. Now that Payback is out of the way, what's next in for the WWE. What else is happening in the world of wrestling? Find out next time.

Until then, stay (too) sweet!